Romance Doesn’t Define You


It’s that time of the year again. 

Whether you’re single, dating, or married, Valentine’s Day is that time when we all consider where we are romantically. To those with significant others, it may be either a special or a stressful moment; in turn, us single people tend to see the day as either a cruel reminder of our singleness or a relief that we don’t have any drama to deal with.

Whichever way you look at it, with all the flowers, hearts, and chocolates floating around, this day is when we stop and consider our value.

In a society infatuated by love and romance, we often determine our worth according to our relational status. Often unknowingly, we tell ourselves that having a spouse or boy/girlfriend means we are valuable, while being single is an indication that something is wrong with or undesirable about us.

For the single person, this perspective contributes to discontentment, low self-worth, and anxiety. We wonder what is so wrong about us that we’ve been rejected or overlooked, and we become hurt and bitter. We see a significant other as the answer to our loneliness and unfulfillment, clinging to the hope that our “special someone” is just around the proverbial corner.

For those with that someone in their life, their status as a part of a “couple” still leaves room for emotional insecurity. As they go through struggles and conflicts and ups and downs, they continually are left to wonder if they had really found the right person, if that person will still love them despite their problems, and if that person will one day abandon them. They discover that their lover will fail, disappoint, and fall short of expectations again and again. The love they thought would satisfy is quickly realized to be lacking.

Wherever you find yourself this Valentine’s Day, I encourage you to challenge your perspective.

The world wants to fool us into thinking that romantic relationships define us and are what truly matters, but God says otherwise.

Our worth comes from who we are in Christ and His love. Selfless, compassionate, and merciful, the Perfect One died at Calvary, paying our punishment to free us from sin and bondage so that we could be made new and right with God. In that moment of Christ’s sacrificial death, we have found worth. We have value when we belong to the One who is infinitely worthy and valuable.

Our value doesn’t come from love, but from Who loves us. 

So today on this Valentine’s Day, while everyone’s searching for love and fulfillment, I’m going to drown out all the noise around me and just stop and praise God for the love and fulfillment He has already given me.

If you’re single, rejoice. If you’re dating, rejoice. If you’re married, rejoice. Regardless of where you are, if you’re made new in Christ, you can be utterly assured that you are deeply loved, and only God’s love can ever truly define you. 


Happy Valentine’s Day! ❤

* Photos from Unsplash. Featured article photo by Kelly Sikkema, in-text photo by Ina Soulis (text added). 

5 thoughts on “Romance Doesn’t Define You

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  1. Thank you, Mandie, for this perspective. The post on my blog today strikes a similar chord as yours. I was especially edified when you said, “Our value doesn’t come from love, but from Who loves us.” Thank you for pointing us to the only One who can satisfy!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your gracious comment, Theron – thankful God is using this post to encourage and edify! Also, I will have to check your post out – would you be willing to post a link in the comments?


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